Last week was a tough week for our family. I was caught off guard with how much Nathan's 1st Birthday would effect us. I have said since day one that even though he wouldn't be home with us for his 1st Birthday, we would still have a party and celebrate his precious life. This was exciting to me. As we planned the details of the party, shopped for it, and ordered the cake, it was still exciting. The week of the party however, was a different story. We were both suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that he is 1 year old and we could still wait another entire year before getting to even lay our hands on him. It overwhelmed me with thoughts of everything we have missed, are missing, and will continue to miss until he comes home with us. Although we knew all of these things and considered them greatly when we decided to adopt, we didn't realize how emotional they can be.
A few nights ago, we received a very vague email from our agency that had an attached note translated from Korean to English that said our foster mother had found a new "brown spot" on Nathan's upper right chest and that they would be sending pictures via mail for us to review. The email then just said, please call me with any questions. Any questions???? Of course I have questions.....tons of them. The agency was closed so I couldn't call that night, but I laid awake all night with my mind wandering to things like, "I am sure it is no big deal Brandy", then I would think, "Well, if it wasn't a big deal, why are they sending us photos? Why did they notify us of it? How big is it? What in the world is a "brown spot"?" Then I realized again how completely helpless we are in situations like this and it is one thing if your child who lives with you has a "spot" and can take them to the Dr. the next day and get a diagnosis, but when your son lives on the other side of the world with somebody whom you do not know, it is a completely different story.
Of course the second the agency was open, I was on the phone with them. Let me stop there by letting you know how awesome our agency (Dillon International) is. They are GREAT! I load our case worker up with about 55 questions and she gives me a huge apology for not going into greater detail in the email and said she was so sorry that I had been up all night with my mind wandering, but she thought she had already spoken to me about this so she didn't go into any explanation in the email. She said the orphanage is required to notify them if there are any new skin marks and they in turn are required to notify us. This is an extremely common thing, she had already received 4 others this week, and they are typically nothing to worry about one bit. Whew!!!! I was instantly relieved!
The next day we received the photo of the "brown spot" and literally both of us laughed out loud. It was the size of a small freckle and that was it. :)
This long story to say that something I worried was a bad thing, turned out to be a blessing from above. This little "brown freckle" incident is one more touch from God that let's us know that He is taking such good care of Nathan, a tiny little freckle does not go unseen. The foster mother He placed in our lives, loves him so much to take him to the Dr. over a freckle. ha! I absolutely love it and love that sometimes feeling helpless makes you realize how much God is in control and how good He is.
**Also a side note that is going to make me completely weird but I am going to let you in on the things adoptive parents hold onto to get through the long wait....The photo only showed his bare chest with the spot (not his face or anything else), and I am literally overjoyed and keep staring at it because I have never been able to see my baby's chest before. Little things matter. :)
