A Lesson Learned From Friends...

Recently Jeremy and I were invited to dinner at a friend's home.  They too are adopting internationally and wanted us to "help them" set up a Blog to share with their family and friends.  As we walked in their door to "teach" them how to set up a blog, we walked out of their home having been "taught" much more about life. 

As we sat with them at dinner and shared our family's stories, we learned so much about the will of God and the beauty He has for our lives.  Their testimony was so touching to us as a family that we wanted to go home and immediately change the way we live our life.  They taught us, through their life circumstances, that anytime you feel God calling you to do something, you do it.  Their life/marriage was completely changed by one person stepping out in faith and asking if she could pray with them because she felt God was calling her to do so.  Because of this one prayer, their entire marriage was saved.  God put things on this lady's heart to share with our friend that completely affirmed some thoughts she had been having and questioning if they were really God or not.  What they took from this experience was that we all have to act on our feelings God calls us to do and act immediately.  If this lady had ignored her calling to pray for them, their marriage might not be saved now and 2 children from Haiti might not be getting a forever family. 

In my mind, I often have thoughts that I "think" are from God, but I will sit and question if it was really God or just me making it up.  I asked them how they are able to "know" it is God?  They replied with an answer that I hope will change my questioning into a sure fire way to respond.  They simply ask themselves if it is something that is "good" and if it aligns with the principles in the Bible.  That seems simple enough.  Boy do I make things more complicated than they really are sometimes.  :)  Because of their testimony, I will now act on any thoughts God puts in my head.  What if I was the person who was called to ask a lady how her day was and share the love of God and I chose not to?  What would happen to her?  What if I was the person who was called to pray with somebody and God used me to change their marriage?  What if you were the person who was called to compliment somebody and God used you to change the way they thought about themselves?  What if you were the person called to help an elderly man load the groceries in his car and you chose not to do so because it might make you behind schedule?  This man could have just lost his wife and be drowning in sorrow and questioning God's love and you could change his life and way of thinking by stepping out in faith and doing something that matters.  As I posted in a recent blog post, sometimes the "hard" things in life are what make a difference.  It is not easy to step out of our way and out of our comfort zone, but I know that God will use those who are willing to do so to accomplish great things.  We each play an crucial role in God's plan and it takes us all doing our part to make His plans work "on earth as it is in Heaven." 

I hope you have an awesome day! 

DHS Home For The Holidays...

This year, our family decided to do something different for Thanksgiving.  We hosted a child from the local DHS shelter at our home for the holiday week.  As we walked into the DHS shelter, I had so many emotions run through my body. Of course I knew that children are placed in shelters, but cannot even begin to describe the experience it was to walk through the doors of the shelter. As we were sitting there waiting to meet this child, we were filled with excitement. We only wish as he walked out the doors with us he would have been able to be as excited, but instead he left there with huge tears rolling down his cheeks. He was petrified and rightfully so. He didn't know us and I am sure wondered if we were going to be good or bad to him. As we drove to the restaurant to eat dinner, Jeremy had to hold the conversation together because he knew that if I said a word I was going to lose it. After about 3 hours with our family, he started to loosen up a little bit. By the end of the first night, he told Jeremy to "sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" and then asked if he could stay at our house for a long time. Jeremy then told him that he could stay all weekend with us if he wanted.  Down the hallway listening to this sweet conversation crying, I pray to God that this amazing boy's family would be blessed this holiday season.

This Thanksgiving was by far the best Thanksgiving that we have ever experienced. Not only did we have perfect 78 degree weather, but we were able to spend it with an amazing little boy and our awesome family. We started the day by eating "smiley face" pancakes (per the child's request) and playing outside in the yard. For lunch, we went up to the fire station to eat with my family and were able to make 2 little boys' dreams come true by playing around for a couple of hours in the fire trucks/fire station. After leaving there, we headed

Thansgiving

THANKSGIVING

As I sit here in my warm home thinking about what to write, I realize that I am blessed beyond belief!  I was blessed to be able to go and serve at The Jesus House in OKC this week with some people from our Church family (http://okccommunitychurch.com/).  You could see in the eyes of these people how broken down they were.  One person actually told me this would be the first "real" meal that his family would have had in the last three weeks.  He was a construction worker that has been injured and is now unable to do the labor work he once did to provide for his family.  His son and daughter appeared to be between 15-20 years old.  As his dad was sharing his story with me, the son said "Dad don't worry you know me and sis will take care of this."  It was so hard to see the pain in the Dad's eyes!  I was also taking out food for a Mom and her daughter that appeared to be in her teens.    The Mom's story was that her husband had left them, so she was working a job three nights a week and having her daughter stay with her Grandma while she was working.  She said they literally have had ramen noodles for lunch and dinner the last week or so and she was so excited to be able to give her daughter a full Thanksgiving meal.  In writing this I want everybody to remember that we all go through tough times and we all think that at some points it cant get any worse, but remember that there are people out there that are going through ten times more than most could handle!  Also, I truly felt sincere thanks for helping these people.  I didn't help pay for their food or even help prepare it, all I was doing was helping them out to the cars and lending an ear for them to talk to.  Don't pass up your next time to help someone out.  It will really mean more to you than the one your helping out!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVNG.....Jeremy Romine

Learning The Lingo

The words people use when discussing adoption can send unintended messages if not used properly.  Below are just a few examples of the correct terminology families wish you would use when discussing Adoption.  If you stop and really think about what you’re saying, positive adoption language is just common sense. For example, take terms such as real parent real mother, real father, real family – these terms imply that an adopted child is not a real part of the family. By using phrases like this, you are invalidating both the child being a “real” part of the family and the “realness” of the family itself. Let's stop to think about this question that might be asked of us but broken down into different terminology:

Non preferred:  "What happened to your child's "real" mother?"
Preferred:  "What happened to your child's "birth" mother?

Non preferred:  "Look at John, he is their adopted child."
Preferred:  "Look at John, he is one of their children."

Non preferred:  "Why was John's mother give him up?"
Preferred:  "Why did John's birthmother choose to make an adoption plan for him?"

Negative Terms	Preferred Terms
Gave up her child for adoption	Placed her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent	Birth parent, biological parent
Adoptive parent	Parent
His adopted child	His child
Illegitimate	Born to unmarried parents
Adoptee	Child who was adopted
To keep	To parent
Adoptable child; available child	Waiting child
Foreign adoption	International adoption
Track down parents	Search
Unwanted child	Child placed for adoption
Is adopted	Was adopted

Selecting a Country

A lot of people have asked us why we chose South Korea and how we selected a country.  I thought with this being National Adoption Awareness month, I would take some time to inform you about the different country requirements a family must meet in order to adopt internationally.  Each country requires different things such as: family income, travel requirements, marriage history/status, weight, age, and criminal history.  When looking to adopt in another country, you have to carefully consider each of these requirements and make sure you are able to meet them.   Below is a list of just some of the country's different requirements:

 South Korea Requirements:

Age                                                                   25-42
Length of Marriage                                           3 Years           
Max # Children in Family                                  4                    
Gender Choice                                                 Cannot Choose Gender     
Age of Child at Arrival in US                             18-24 mo                   
Travel Requirements                                        1 Trip    
Weight                                                               No more than 30% overweight      
Length of Trip/Trips                                           4-7 Days                     
Wait time for Referral                                        4-6 mo 
Wait time to travel to Korea                              11-16 mo                       
Total Adoption Process Time                            20-28 mo                                 


 China Requirements:
(Special Needs List)

Age                                                                   30-50
Length of Marriage                                           2 Years
Max # Children in Family                                  4
Gender Choice                                                 May Choose Gender

A Different Perspective

November is National Adoption Awareness month, so we are going to take some time these next couple of weeks to post some interesting articles we have read about adoption.  Below is an article we were read in a seminar we attended this summer to learn more about international adoption.  This story tries to put into perspective what it will be like for our child.  We have been told through this journey that part of what makes you a good parent is to always be willing to stop and see things through your child's eyes.  Well, here goes..... (Our child will have been through 3 different caretakers before they are placed with us, their forever family) A Different Perspective November 01,2011 / Cynthia Hockman-Chupp

Imagine for a moment.... You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by

Coming Out Of The Woodworks

Whenever we started this process, we knew absolutely nothing about international adoption, knew of nobody who had been adopted internationally, and didn't know of any couples who had completed the process.  We were thinking "God, what in the world are you doing?"  One thing that I have found to be truly amazing on this journey is how God works to bring the right people into our lives at the right time. 

Along this journey, we have made so many new friends who have a heart for adoption. I serve on the Board for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Norman and have made many wonderful friendships through this organization. I met a great friend who was adopted from the Philippines when she was younger. It has been awesome to hear her story and travel through the journey with her to reunite with her birth parents. She is getting ready to travel to see her birth parents for the first time in 25 years and I am so excited to share this journey with her.

We have some friends at church that we talk to every Sunday, but never knew that they were adopting. About a month ago, in conversation we found out that they are in the process of adopting 2 children from Haiti along with the College Pastor at our church.  We are all in about the same stage of the adoption process.  How neat is that? 

Recently on a business trip to Boston, I met another financial advisor who builds/funds orphanages in Africa. He and his wife have a huge heart for God and the orphans of this world and it was amazing to get to hear his story.  We have also been blessed by many of you who have reached out to us by sharing stories about the people you know who have adopted. We are so grateful for the support on this journey.  We were told it could be a challenging journey, but we knew that with the support of our family and friends, we could get through it. We are excited for the relationships we currently have in our lives and for the ones we know God will place in our lives in the future. God is good!

Leaving On A Jet Plane....

Wow! As the time nears, the thought of being on a plane for 25 hrs traveling to South Korea is a little overwhelming. We are excited to go to Korea to meet our new child and experience their culture...but as we are on this plane flying to Boston all I can think about is "I've been in the air for a total of about 4 hours today and am ready to be there". Its funny, I can see our son right now....ARE WE THERE YET, ARE WE THERE YET? haha. But as I sit here knowing that in about 18 months we will be on a plane heading to Korea with one flight consisting of 15 hrs of non-stop flying, well....to say the least, I'm getting nervous! We will be bringing home a child that has never been on an airplane (or possibly never been in an automobile for that matter), has possibly never seen a white family before, speaks another language and has never heard the English language. We have been told that we will literally pick up our child from the orphanage and head straight to the airport. They do not release the child into our custody until we are set to leave for the United States. So with a child that I'm sure will be scared to death to be leaving with absolute strangers, we will literally embark on a journey across the world. So, if we are the parents with the child that's screaming the whole flight, or are the ones blasting cartoons on their Ipad, or are the ones walking the aisles rocking a baby and hitting you in your arm every time we go by.....please give us a Break! (or a free beer) LOL! We will need lots of prayers for this part of the journey!

Written by Jeremy Romine